Alright, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: reviews. Love 'em or hate 'em, if you're running an online store like mine, Uncarved Block, you’re stuck with 'em. And not just any reviews—oh no, we’re talking about those shiny, expensive, third-party collected reviews that Google and other search engines practically force us to use.

Why, you ask? Buckle up, because it's a wild ride.

The Almighty Google and Its Minions

First things first, let's address the overlord in the room—Google. If you want your online store to show up in search results, you need reviews. Not just any reviews, though. They have to be collected by "trusted" (expensive-charge-whatever-we-want-cos-you-have-to-use-us) third-party platforms. You see, Google doesn’t trust us to collect our own reviews. Apparently, we're all shady liars until proven otherwise.

The Trust Issue

Google’s reasoning is simple: They think we might cheat. Imagine that! They believe if we collected our own reviews, we’d all be handing out five-star ratings like candy at Halloween. No room for honesty in Google’s world. So, they demand that we use these third-party platforms that charge us an arm and a leg to collect and verify reviews. And guess what? These platforms then report back to Google, telling them we’re playing (and paying) fair. It’s a cozy little corrupt circle of trust that conveniently costs us money.

The SEO Game

Here’s where it gets juicy: SEO. Those third-party reviews? Google loves them. They boost our search rankings, making us more visible to potential customers. Without them, our products might as well be hidden on the dark web. So, even if we don’t want to shell out for these services, we’re forced to, just to stay relevant. It’s like paying a bouncer to let us into the party that is Google’s first page.

Customer Confidence or Lack Thereof

And then there’s customer confidence. Everyone loves reviews. They’re the digital equivalent of asking your friend if that new restaurant is worth a visit. If you don’t have reviews, customers get suspicious. And if you have reviews but they’re not from a “trusted or certified” source, they’re just as skeptical. So, we’re left with no choice but to play ball with these third-party review platforms, ensuring our reviews are deemed trustworthy.

The Financial Drain

Let's not forget the cost. These third-party review platforms do not even resemble cheap. It’s like paying for a gym membership you rarely use but can’t cancel because it’s tied to your life insurance. For small businesses like mine, these costs add up quickly: $450/month is entry level with plans of up to $5000/month and more.   But what choice do we have? It’s either pay up or disappear into the abyss of page two (or gasp, page three) of Google search results.

The Inevitable Conclusion

So there you have it. We’re stuck in this convoluted review game because Google says so. And if we want to stay afloat in the cutthroat world of online retail, we have to comply. It’s frustrating, it’s costly, but it’s the reality.

Next time you see a glowing review for Uncarved Block, remember the hoops I’ve jumped through to get it there.  As a one-person company, I’m doing my best to keep up with the big guys.  So, if you’ve received multiple requests for reviews, please forgive me—I'm just trying to survive in this wild world of online retail.

Your reviews mean everything to me and help my business shine. I appreciate your support more than you know!

NOTE:

Not only does Google dictate how reviews are collected and by who, they also have a laundry list of rules on how they should be written. Because apparently, Google is the ultimate authority on everything, including your opinion.   So, just for fun, here are the kinds of reviews that Google will gleefully ignore:

- have grammatical errors 
- contain spelling mistakes 
- contain the words "Uncarved Block" 
- have any reference to postage, shipping or delivery 
- have a star rating only and no comments
- are submitted via product pages on my page - invite only it seems!